Nearly all bad movies - even the really terrible ones - have at least some redeeming features.
Matt Damon flop The Great Wall at least had really cool costumes.
Confusing Jennifer Lawrence film mother! was at least well-acted.
Now, nonsensical romance Wild Mountain Thyme at least has some pretty Irish scenery.
The new film from John Patrick Shanley - who delivered the truly exceptional big-screen adaptation of his own play, Doubt, back in 2008 - tries so hard to be whimsical and irreverent but, sadly, just comes off as silly and unrealistic. The film follows Rosemary (Emily Blunt, A Quiet Place) and Anthony (Jamie Dornan, Fifty Shades of Grey), two Irish farmers who have grown up on neighbouring properties.
Rosemary has pined for Anthony her whole life, but Anthony - odd even by the standards of their quirky little town - is willfully ignorant of her affections.
At one point he says "a man with feelings should be put down" - more a commentary on the local culture than his actual beliefs - which serves to highlight the main problem these characters face. Neither do what they actual want, but rather wallow in their own self-crafted misery.
When they do finally confront their own feelings it's so rushed and ridiculous that it's hard to suspend one's disbelief.
Jon Hamm (Baby Driver) plays Anthony's American cousin Adam, who visits his family's farm with the hopes of taking it off their hands. Adam is the only voice of reason in the film, bringing some much-needed outsider's perspective and his appearance, and immediate fondness for Rosemary, is really the only thing that spurs Anthony to action. It's as though he's only interested in Rosemary when someone else is - hardly the romance one would crave.
The frustration of Wild Mountain Thyme is the overall tone of whimsy makes it impossible to connect with these characters. As a result, scenes that are supposed to be serious and emotional come across as funny. Christopher Walken, too, is hard to take seriously with a poor Irish accent.
Also, the film has one of the weirdest - and then unexplored - plot twists ever. Befuddling.