Over the years Paul Hogan was accused of tax dodging, of cheating on his wife, of going all Hollywood on us, any one of which would have been enough to cast your average bloke as a mongrel.
But Hoges the miniseries skipped over, through and around whatever dirt might or might not exist in this tale. And in the end, its Paul Hogan emerged as just an ordinary bloke who got lucky by having a crack.
Net result: Legend fully intact, curiosity largely unsatisfied.
Having raced through 30 years in part one, the second instalment slowed to a crawl, taking 70 minutes to cover two years. But then it belatedly perked up, racing through the next three decades in just 10 minutes or so. With Paul Hogan's life flashing before our eyes, it felt a bit like we'd been invited to watch a drowning from inside the victim's head.
Part two opened in 1986, as Crocodile Dundee was being unleashed on the world, and it ended in 2014 (or thereabouts), with Hogan (Josh Lawson) on stage presenting a hits-and-memories tour of his life, complete with slideshow, a belated return to a framing device introduced in part one and almost forgotten about in between.
But it soon became obvious that the real subject of Hoges was marriage – namely the end of one (to Noelene) and the start of another (to Linda).
All that racing through the key moments from his very public TV career in the first episode was just cover, it seems; the second episode was all about the private life of our ocker hero, and the mess his success made of it.
Some of it worked a treat, though. On the positive side we had:
- Hogan (Josh Lawson) telling John Cornell (Ryan Corr) he needs to go to America to promote his film. "I'm a salesman mate. You have to let me do my job." Later, Hogan told Cornell that he, Cornell, is such a good salesman he could "sell wine to Jesus". I was happy to buy the idea that they were really just a pair of exceptional hucksters.
Paul Hogan (Josh Lawson) and John Cornell (Ryan Corr) sell Crocodile Dundee to Paramount. Photo: Seven
Noelene (Justine Clarke) and Paul (Josh Lawson) Hogan realise their marriage is over, again. Photo: Seven
But there was stuff that felt forced, clunky or overdone too. Like:
- The moment Noelene dropped the coffee cup and it magically became the symbol of her shattered marriage. "The cup, the cup. Whyyyyyy, the cup?"
- The get-well card from Olivia Newton John, which Noelene read to Paul as he lay in a hospital bed recovering from a brain haemorrhage. "She wrote it herself, didn't get an assistant to do it," Noelene said. "She's so lovely." And please stay tuned for Olivia, coming soon to Seven, from the team that brought you Hoges. Yes, seriously.
- The scene where Hoges and Cornell are stuck in a taxi in LA on the way to the premiere of Crocodile Dundee. The car's not moving, and you'll never guess what's causing the hold-up. "Sorry, sir, they're lined up for some Australian movie," says the driver. What are the odds? In Hoges, pretty good.
Paul Hogan (Josh Lawson) and Linda Kozlowski (Laura Gordon). Photo: Seven
I guess that's the problem with trying to tell a life story – in this case, a very public one, with decades spent in the limelight – over such a short span of screen time. Too much gets crammed in, too much gets left out.
I guess it's also what you get when you're determined to ensure your subject remains roguishly charming without ever becoming an actual rogue. Pity, because a little more rogue is exactly what Hoges needed.
Karl Quinn is on facebook at karlquinnjournalist and on twitter @karlkwin