India captain M.S. Dhoni's most recognisable trait is his helicopter shot over mid-wicket but deadpan delivery of jokes is not far behind. He used the latter to ridicule speculation of a rift between two of his batsmen that has festered since the Brisbane Test.
The Hindustan Times reported there was a confrontation between Virat Kohli and opener Shikhar Dhawan, which was sparked by vice-captain Kohli believing it was unreasonable for Dhawan to declare himself unfit to bat just before the start of play on the final day, which forced Kohli to bat immediately. It was also reported that team director Ravi Shastri had to intervene to defuse the situation.
When Dhoni was asked about the alleged confrontation between Kohli and Dhawan, he took the unusual step of elaborating – with his tongue firmly in cheek.
"Actually that was the case. Virat used a knife, he stabbed Shikhar, who just recovered out of that, then we pushed him to bat," Dhoni deadpanned.
The captain, who missed the first Test of the series, then went on to question the reported version of events in the Indian dressing room.
"These are all stories. Marvel [Comics] or Warner Bros maybe should pick up from this and they can make a nice movie out of it," he said.
"I don't know where it comes from. If someone from the team has actually told you this it would be interesting if you'd give us the name, saying, 'This is the individual who said this is what happened', because his imagination is really brilliant and he should be working for one of the movie companies. He doesn't deserve to be in our dressing room because he's entirely created something that has not been there at all.
"Stuff like that makes good stories for tabloids, and maybe it helps them sell, but as far as the reality is concerned there has been nothing like that."
While Dhoni fiercely disputed that the Kohli-Dhawan confrontation occurred, he said in the aftermath of the team's loss that the late change from Dhawan to Kohli to starting the day with the bat had "created a bit of unrest in the dressing room".
